End is the Beginning is the End
by Kayasuri-n
Summary: He is a spirit who was once a man, and now he is desperate. There wasn't a jail cell or prison block that could hold him when he was alive. Why should that be any different now? Zuko knows what he has to do. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

He is a wreck of a spirit, one that had once been mortal. Spirits don't sleep, but that only means there are no escapes from his nightmares. Memories of his death. They call him the 'great mortal traitor', here- when he's sane enough to remember what words mean, he scoffs. Most of the time, though, he huddles away, broken in mind and body, covering every inch of what should have been skin with clothes and a ceramic mask.

There is no help for him. The other spirits have their own concerns- and to be fair, they have always been spirits.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

Healing comes slowly, but soon the periods of nightmare shorten, and fade away. The spirit who was once a man walks among his new kin, and peers with shadowed eyes at the mortal world.

He cannot help his discontent. That which he fought for, died for, is slowly being twisted until it is tainted, warped, wrong. The other spirits either do not notice or do not care. So long as they get the respect they feel they deserve, why should it bother them?

He is a spirit who was once a man, and there are members of his family there.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

_That said, would you prefer to read ten of these hundred-word drabbles in a single chapter, or one at a time?_

* * *

He petitions the great spirits.

They refuse him.

The world of the spirit and the world of the mortals do not mingle. That is why there is an Avatar.

They do not say it, but he can hear the meaning beneath their words.

_You trapped us here, so now we're returning the favor._

He clenches his fists, and stalks away. They will change their mind, when they have seen enough- but that will take centuries, and he does not have the time to waste in waiting. His grand-nephews and grand-nieces are suffering, and he is _here_, in safety, and he…


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

It is a really, really stupid idea.

But he is a spirit who was once a man, and now he is desperate. There wasn't a jail cell or prison block that could hold him when he was alive. Why should that be any different now?

Of course, now that he is a spirit, there are some things he just doesn't have to worry about any more. Like would-be lethal injuries. It means retreating to his little patch of misery to recover, but even limb loss doesn't last much longer than a year or so.

Finally, though, it works- he's free.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

They drag him back in spirit chains, and hold court. Compassion, Mercy, Truth, Honor- they stand ready to judge him, with the lesser powers all watching. He hasn't made any friends here, but then again, he didn't want to. When he lived, he faced nearly every one of these spirits with a sword, until they could be driven out and kept out.

Cold iron works wonderfully against the spirits. He wonders why they haven't noticed his swords- or the mortal-made silk clothes he wears.

Willful blindness, probably. Not that it matters.

Isolation. He smiles at Agni, and bows his head.


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

Despite his efforts, the mortal world continues to change, and not for the better. The Avatar Spirit is forced to be reborn, again and again, until the spirits are satisfied his sister has been punished enough. The four elements are separated, and begin to squabble amongst themselves like small children.

He goes out, and goes out, and it feels like he's trying to hold back floodwaters with his bare hands. He's never been gifted with bending ability.

The mortals call him many things- patron of the impossible, the guardian shadow, and too many more to count. He prefers Blue Spirit.


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

He cannot remember a time when it was ever any different. He knows he was mortal once. The other spirits never hesitate to use that against him. Besides, his emotions are intense, vivid, compared to what they have. He is ever drawn to the mortal realm, and finds ways around the Great Spirits' orders and the wards and shields keeping the two worlds separate.

He thinks he remembers something about the Avatar, about duties she (he?) has to keep the spirits and mortals from mingling, but whatever it is, he cannot recall exactly. The memories always slip through his fingers.


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

The balance is shattered.

He stumbles back and forth, gagging behind his mask, falling over and getting up and this is wrong, _wrong_, _**wrong**_-

He wakes to Koh's laughter.

The Avatar has been killed, and has not been reborn. The cycle is over. Koh alone remembers what once was, and he is gleeful, grinning with a borrowed face. Everything Aizu died for will fall apart.

With his name, he remembers, and the loss hits greater. Koh throws his head back, and laughs.

Aizu, Blue Spirit, he who does the impossible, howls and swings both swords at Koh's face.

He connects.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

Assault on a great spirit.

Continuous and unrepentant intrusion into the mortal world.

Disrespect.

He listens to the great spirits review his crimes. Agni muses that it is a pity Blue Spirit became a sprit. If he had been purified in Agni's fires before rebirth, than surely he would not be so destructive now.

The other spirits agree, but he hears the whispers. They think it is for the best that he is a spirit. He is under control- sort of- this way.

They sentence him, not to isolation, but to continuous, unrelenting observation.

That's fine. He has an idea.


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar, I'm just playing with them._

_Each chapter will be exactly 100 words. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I'll do my best to answer, unless it will spoil an upcoming chapter. Expect updates Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

* * *

This is easily the hardest thing he's ever done, and now that he has his name, he remembers everything. Koh is gloating- cautiously- now, but not for long. It brings a smile to his scarred not-lips.

The great spirits can influence the mortals, but punishments are… difficult to enforce. How else could the Fire Sages be allowed to get away with so much? Aizu did not die just so the Fire Lord- head Fire Sage, not divine ruler, thank you- can murder an entire people.

It is difficult, waiting for the right opening. It has to be a specific individual.


	11. 11 to 15

_Due to a comment made earlier, I have chosen to post five drabbles together. Updates will continue as planned._

It has been almost a century since the people of air died, and finally, finally it is time to act. The babe would be stillborn; no spirit is slated for rebirth. The mother may die, or perhaps not, it is hard to say. But he will displace no one with this. It is finally, finally time to act.

He slips past his guards. They forget- he is the one who does the impossible.

The barrier between the spirit world and mortal realm is thin, fading ever more each day. He steps through as though it weren't even there.

He's reborn.

* * *

There is a reason spirits are first purified in Agni's fires, their past lives- memories, deeds, everything but their core self- burnt away. There is a reason they do not choose their own lives.

There is a reason the spirits do not interfere with the lives of mortals.

The baby is supposed to be dead. The mother is supposed to be dead.

The midwives know this, but keep it to themselves. The father looks at his infant son, sneers, and thrusts the child away. No effort may be spared on the woman, but the child...

Ursa names her son Zuko.

* * *

"He was lucky to be born!" Yes. He was.

Despite what he truly is, Zuko doesn't remember everything right away. His days are wrapped up in his mother, who loves him, her miracle child who survived being born nearly six weeks too early, and his father, who can barely stand to look at him.

He is a serious child, who tries to run before he can truly stand up, and stares at decorative swords hung on the walls instead of candle flames and fires.

He is almost three when Ursa becomes pregnant again. Zuko dreams of his sister-that-was, and waits.

* * *

Baby Azula screams when Zuko enters the room, and fusses when Ursa holds her. She was an easy birth- too easy, the servants whisper among themselves, but never where Prince Ozai might hear them. She is Ozai's favorite child; she smiles and coos at him, unlike his son, who simply stares.

Despite the baby's screams, Zuko is fascinated by his little sister. He thinks she should have brown eyes, somehow, and when her dusty blue eyes turn gold, nothing fascinates him more. The nurses don't know how he is always getting into her room. They lock the door, after all.

* * *

The children do not play well together. Zuko remembers having a sister- something he dreamt, obviously, because he's only ever had _Azula_ for a sister- who was happy to see him, and wanted to spend time with him, and listened when he talked about blades.

Azula pouts and threatens tears when she sees him, and her first words were 'Go 'way, Zuzu'. She stares at fire, and when he tries to talk to her about knives, she swats one hand at his face. Their mother tells her that it's rude, but she does it anyways.

She'll grow out of it.


	12. 16 to 20

She doesn't grow out of it. Azula is six, and 'feeds' the turtle-ducks with thrown rocks. A part of Zuko knows why, and watches with calculating eyes. He is Ursa's favorite child, and takes all the love the woman has to give. Azula is jealous; jealous of Zuko, jealous of the turtle-ducks, and even negative attention is better than nothing.

But the rest of him, the eight year old boy, doesn't understand why his sister hates him, and wishes he could make everything better. Azula likes firebending; he is indifferent, so he can give her that, and complement her ability.

* * *

Azula shoves the door to Zuko's room open, and swaggers in. "Dad's going to kill you," she says, hiding fear beneath a gloat. "He really is."

Zuko stares at her, eyes shadowed and there-not-there. She hides a flinch, and smirks. Dad looks at her like that, through her, like she doesn't exist.

It's a relief when Mom comes and drags her away. "Dad wants to be the Fire Lord," she tells Mom.

Mom stares at Azula, and sends her to bed. Azula goes, but not before seeing Mom take a knife from the wall.

She saved Zuko, and everything changes.

* * *

When he dreams, he has everything. Memories, mask, swords- understanding. He dreams that he walks through walls, to check on Azula, who shivers in her sleep. He pulls the blankets up over her shoulders, and leaves, to wander the palace grounds, looking for someone who doesn't want to be found.

Zuko wakes up, and goes down to breakfast. Azula complains about drafts in her room, and how it shouldn't get so cold in summer, and tells the servants to pile her bed high with extra blankets. Their father sits at the head of the table, silent and dismissive, not listening.

* * *

Azula is away at school, and it's a terrible, horrible relief. Her creep of a brother isn't with her- oh, sometimes he's normal, but most of the time he very much is _not_- and there are no reminders of her absent mother. Her father... Well, she loves him. She does. And he loves her, because she is strong, and smart, and powerful.

But school is very lonely. There are two girls here that no one talks to; Ty Lee, who wears pink and talks about seeing auras, and Mai, who never changes expression.

She talks to them. They let her.

* * *

She brings her friends home with her. Their parents allow it; their children are friends with the _princess_, and that is very good, politically.

Mai doesn't notice that Zuko is wrong inside, and instead seems to like spending more time with him than with Azula. Ty Lee, at least, took one look at Zuko and blanched.

Ty Lee later confides that Zuko's aura is... off. It's blue, and black, and not connected with his body at all.

Azula sniffs, and pushes Ty Lee over into the dirt. She doesn't need to hear any aura nonsense, to know Zuko's just creepy.


	13. 21 to 25

The Agni Kai changes everything.

Zuko is immediately banished, practically thrown onto the twenty year old ship Ozai's given him. Iroh comes with him, and even in the delirium of fever, Zuko recognizes another person whose spirit isn't entirely connected with their body.

He dreams, but the cold iron keeps his dreams from returning to the Fire Nation. Instead, he is locked in memory, of a time long past, before bending, before the Avatar, when there was nothing but fights with spirits.

He finally wakes, to half a face. This is devastating, but...

_At least I still have a face._

* * *

Dreams become memories, and memories fade into dreams. There are days when he can't remember what happened before, why he's on a ship, and how he can call fire to his hand. Instinct keeps him from confiding in his- his- uncle, that's right. Uncle Iroh.

(He remembers Uncle Tetsuya, skinny and quick and absolutely _deadly_, and knows Uncle Tetsuya's gone, but Uncle Iroh's here. It's easier to want what he doesn't have.)

His temper is short; how not? He can't recognize the face in the mirror, and it's not just the burn scar.

The men hate him. He doesn't care.

* * *

Three years pass. Time, enough, for the stories of their travels to fill a hundred scrolls, for the initial glee in his banishment to fade, for his jumbled memories and dreams to settle. He is, once more, Prince Zuko, a mediocre firebender of Sozin's line, banished, but still heir to the throne. He just needs to find the Avatar.

Three years is enough time for the men to try a mutiny, twice. It's put down, but they can't trade the men out. There is no one else.

Zuko snarls at everyone, now. It happens to be safer.

They turn south.

* * *

The impossible has happened, and the Avatar has re-awakened. Hope, which had been ashes in his mouth, becomes sweet once more. Zuko immediately writes his father. It's not gloating, exactly; Zuko loves his father, wants nothing more than to see approval in the man's eyes. But there is another part, that lurks behind Zuko's eyes and _watches_ and _waits_, that wants Ozai to read the news- _the Avatar has returned_- and tremble in fear.

The world is out of balance, and has been for a long time. Ozai wants to throw it further out of balance. Someone must stop it.

* * *

Nothing makes sense. Chasing the Avatar is an exercise in frustration, and Uncle Iroh is _not helping_. Music night? Pai Sho tiles gone missing? None of that matters! Zuko has a duty to find the Avatar and bring him back to the Fire Nation (and oh, won't that be exciting- he refuses to think any further than that).

Tying the waterbender to a tree wasn't the politest thing a prince could do, but it's done. And he refuses to be sorry.

The Avatar remains one step ahead of him, skipping along the Earth Kingdom coastline with his bison and bending.


	14. 26 to 30

Pohuai Stronghold. Never beaten. Impenetrable. The best of the Yu Yan are stationed here.

Zhao has been promoted to admiral, and commands the Yu Yan.

He has caught the Avatar.

For the first time in a long, long time, the Blue Spirit wakes. It is nothing like anyone could imagine; Zuko knows Aizu, because Aizu is him, and they are not _they_ at all.

Zuko thinks he bought the mask- or maybe Uncle Iroh did- months back, before the Avatar awoke. (He remembers the truth, though- that the shadows parted and the mask and swords were there beneath his bed.)

* * *

Pohuai Stronghold is _easy_. Zuko, Blue Spirit, creeps his way in. This is the greatest challenge the enemy will offer him? Really?

The Avatar is afraid of his rescuer (_good_) but goes along willingly enough. Zuko fights without bending, and it's easier than he'd ever thought. His muscles remember moves he's never done before, not in this life anyways, but he's comfortable with the realization.

"Do you think we could be friends?"

No. He doesn't.

Zuko remembers fragments of dreams and memories, and knows that he has- something- more important than friendship. The Avatar will have to deal with it.

* * *

Pirates. Damn pirates.

Zuko holds his body together through will and determination, even as everything about him is falling apart. He is Zuko, prince of the Fire Nation.

(He is Aizu, a man who stood against the worst of the spirit world, a single mortal armed with twin blades.)

(He is the Blue Spirit, a minor spirit everyone fears and no one can stop.)

Zhao has his crew, his uncle, and the pirates destroyed his ship. Zhao thinks he's won.

Zuko sneaks onto Zhao's flagship, and takes the guise of a minor soldier.

Zhao will discover how wrong he is.

* * *

He doesn't want to think about the fiasco at the North. He really doesn't. If not for the fact that he is (remembering) dreaming about worse things, he'd be having nightmares.

The Ocean- he's never eating fish again. (Damn smug bastard the Avatar is not supposed to be _used_ like that the soldiers didn't deserve any of it! Zhao yes, but not them!)

Uncle is a calm and pragmatic rock Zuko can rest against, and the raft carries them across the ocean's waters (and oh, he can't sleep at all the entire time.)

They arrive, alive, in the Earth Kingdom.

* * *

There is no cold iron here, except the swords that Zuko carries. (He wanted them; he found them the next morning in the cold ashes of their tiny campfire.) The further away from the salt water they get, the easier he feels. (He wonders- if he wants the mask, will it appear too? It does. He doesn't tell Uncle.)

The Avatar's return has awakened the spirits (and they press against the paper thin barrier, eager to return to their playground) and Uncle has always said to be careful when dealing with the spirit world.

It is a very dangerous place.


	15. 31 to 35

The time in the Earth Kingdom is a lesson in patience. Uncle Iroh is _Uncle_, warm and solid and not always honest, but then, who is? Truth is just shades of meaning, and for a spirit who cannot lie (those without tongues cannot speak, but that's just semantics) he can appreciate the difference. Azula lies. Uncle dissembles.

Zuko remembers, now. The memories come in dreams and nightmares. More nightmares, really, than dreams. It is easier to go off on his own to deal with the thoughts that result, consider the potential ramifications on his own.

Uncle cannot lose another son.

* * *

They join together again, only this time because Zuko almost lost Uncle. Azula- no, he will not think of that now. He wants to, but- his temper is very bad, and he holds onto the frayed edges of his control grimly.

He would not let the waterbender near his Uncle. Logically, he knows he should have. She must know healing, after that stint in the north.

But he remembers fire and ice, and a deadly battle by moonlight, and he will be hung before he lets her near Uncle. Not until the man can defend himself.

Maybe not even then.

* * *

He has only thought of his own mortality and what it means for Uncle, and thought nothing of _Uncle's_ mortality and what it means for _him_.

Zuko broods on it, as only he can, late at night when Uncle sleeps so deeply he might as well be dead.

He cannot see himself reaching old age. The spirits will discover what has happened, or an assassin will succeed, or- well, there are many things that can happen to the Prince of the Fire Nation while in the Earth Kingdom, and none of them are very good.

He's forgotten Uncle's a prince.

* * *

If the old man goes, he will mourn and likely not survive another season. This is what Zuko has decided, because Iroh's help is priceless. More than that, it is the only thing standing between a man who was once a spirit, and the mortals around him.

He is unnatural. They _know_ this, deep in their bones, though they don't know the reason and pass it off as disliking his personality, or his race, or- well. There are many reasons.

Soon or late, someone will get through his guard. He knows spirits. He only has sixteen years of knowing mortals.

* * *

"Zuko?"

"Uncle. You're awake."

"Mm. Yes. You seem... calmer, nephew."

"I've made some decisions while you slept, Uncle."

He will not leave the man again. Ozai is his father, but his father has banished and betrayed him. Uncle Iroh is just his uncle, but he has stood in Ozai's place for most of Zuko's life. Love binds him with chains he can neither break nor escape, not that he wants to.

"You should rest. We- we'll decide what'll happen later. When you're stronger."

The old man slides deeply into sleep, and it would be terrifying, but Zuko understands spirit wounds.


	16. 36 to 40

Mortals rush. They have no time to do things slowly- and even when they think they are moving slowly, they are not. This is a fact.

Spirits do not rush. They have no reason to hurry, for they have all eternity- a span of time where they are changeless. They cannot die, they cannot age. This is a fact.

Zuko- and he still thinks of himself as Zuko, even though he remembers and Uncle can _tell_ something is wrong- is caught between spirit and man. He does not change- but he rushes.

It's funny, he thinks. He's done this before.

* * *

Ba Sing Se is an interesting place, and by interesting Zuko really means terrifying.

First was the barge, and wasn't that a disaster? Then Jet- and the less said about that young fool, the better. Even if Zuko wasn't really- what he is- he thinks he would still have more experience than Jet.

Rule number one. Do not attack supposed civilians when the guard are _right there in line for tea_. It's just a bad idea.

But besides the guard, which he recognizes thanks to memories from before he was born, there are the Dai Li.

And they terrify him.

* * *

He falls sick. Uncle later tells him that he believes it was a spirit illness, for he had never seen anything quite like it, and he's been all over the world.

Zuko doesn't tell him what it really was. A combination of factors- Agni _knows_, and that should be far more terrifying than it is- and...

Wait, no. Agni knows. That is _very_ terrifying. Extremely. However, compared to what else has happened...

The veil between spirit world and mortal is gone.

There will be some time before they return to the mortal world.

Zuko knows what he has to do.

* * *

The Dai Li are out in force. He wonders if they realize that simple fact reveals their fear; they seek to intimidate with a show of strength, but why bother when all there is to cow are beaten civilians?

There has been an upswing of minor spirits appearing. Not nice ones, either. There is a- a dark, sucking _void_, in Lake Laogai. Something is very wrong there.

The Dai Li can handle most minor spirits, but not all. That is what Zuko handles, those few spirits strong enough to ignore bending and iron chains.

He needs to investigate the lake.

* * *

Like Pohuai Stronghold, Lake Laogai is impossible to penetrate.

Heh.

Zuko creeps, he crawls, he contorts- and he's in. The earthbenders never notice him. So much for the 'all knowing' Dai Li.

He is drawn further down the tunnels, and the mortal in him, the firebender, cringes away from the sickly green glow of the crystals.

He comes to a cavern, with round, smooth walls and a ceiling high above- with a skylight. Bars, of course.

And in the middle of the cavern...

"Gods of my forefathers," he whispers. "What have they done?"

The Avatar's bison moans pitifully at him.


	17. 41 to 45

The Avatar's bison disappears overnight, with every member of the Dai Li swearing, on the graves of their forefathers, that no one had gotten past them. Long Feng interrogates each guard three times, and every time the answers remain the same.

He is not a man to rage at disruptions in his plans, so instead he moves on. And meets a most intriguing trio of girls. Kyoshi warriors, supposedly.

The truth is far, far worse, and now he does want to rant and rave at the spirits. Princess Azula of the _Fire Nation_ has his city, and the king's gone.

* * *

Ba Sing Se is actually quite interesting, Azula decides. If not, that is, for all the spirits.

Ty Lee has to be drugged each night if she is to sleep at all. Mai doesn't seem to notice anything, but then, Mai is all too grounded sometimes. Azula, as one who has trained with the Fire Sages, can tell something is wrong.

She has the Dai Li show her what goes on beneath Lake Laogai- and panics.

Mindbending. They steal the mind and soul of people, twist and break them, and-

Her father is- not nice- but he wouldn't do that.

* * *

"Zuko, what a surprise."

Three years ago, she didn't know why her brother frightened her, deep inside. Now she knows. _He should not be_. It's like seeing a three day old corpse getting up and going to work. Ugh.

"Azula." Her brother's eyes are dead. "Do you still follow Ozai?" His voice is flat, the skin of his face tight over the bones.

Her throat gets tight, even though she knows better. He should not be- but he is her brother, and Father burnt half his face off.

"Don't be ridiculous," she tells him.

She will always do what's best.

* * *

"Where is Uncle Iroh, Zuzu?"

"Are you not going to torture me, to find out?"

"Are you accusing me of _torture_, brother dearest?"

"Azula. Uncle has agreed to leave Ba Sing Se."

"And leave you here?"

"... He does not know what I plan."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"You know what I am."

"...Yes..."

"I love you. I have always loved you."

"Don't lie."

"I have had only sixteen years to get used to having a tongue again. Lying has never been my strength."

"...Father intends to burn the world to ashes, during the comet."

"_Does he now_."

* * *

This is treason, in every sense of the world, but Azula steps forward, key in hand.

It's not needed. The manacles dangle from the chains, broken circles glinting in the light. "Zuko," she murmurs, but she's not looking at her brother anymore. She's looking at something else, but she can't be afraid anymore.

She is in the Earth Kingdom, outside of Ozai's reach, and this spirit _will not hurt her_. It's the first time she knows, really knows, that someone won't look for ways to make her bleed.

The spirit kisses her forehead, touch as gentle as sunlight. "_Sayonara, imoto_."

* * *

_'Sayonara, imoto' is (rough) Japanese for 'goodbye, little sister'. Seemed fitting._


	18. 46 to 50

The caverns beneath Ba Sing Se are crowded, Zuko finds. Himself, Azula- the Avatar, the waterbender, the water tribesman, the earthbender, Uncle. The spirits like a show, he thinks. It should not surprise him to find everyone here. He wonders which spirit to blame, but decides, finally, that it does not matter.

"Avatar," he says, and he can feel the beginning of the end. "The barrier between this world and the world of spirits has fallen."

And like that, he sees, the child understands. "Oh, no," he murmurs, looks at the likeliest entrance point. The bison had been chained there.

* * *

Katara's hands tremble. "What do you mean?" she asks, looking between the Fire Nation prince- not much of a prince now, half starved and ragged- and Aang.

"Not all spirits are kind," the crazy, blue fire lady says, sounding terrified. "Father- the war- is a mere handful of embers to what the spirits can do."

And the old man, Iroh, has gone dead white. "How was the barrier first put in place?" he asks Aang.

"A sacrifice. A mortal- the first Avatar- I don't remember."

Katara lunges forward, and catches Aang around the shoulders. "I can't lose you," she whispers.

* * *

"You don't have to," Zuko says, and Azula stares at her brother. He didn't just- he did. Damn.

He turns to face her, and it's as if he doesn't remember all her tricks and taunts and the times she burnt him and the times she showed him up-

"Azula, you will be better without him. Free yourself. The war does nothing for our people."

"I know," she whispers.

As if waiting for that sign, all hell breaks loose. Literally.

"Remember," Zuko tells her, as stone crumbles and the air- twists. "Don't change your expression."

And Koh enters the mortal realm.

* * *

Aang steps forward first, shaking and trying not to show it. "Koh," he says. "You're not welcome here."

All those hours of meditating with Gyatso pay off, again. He feels fear, but doesn't show it. He feels revulsion, at the perversion of the faces Koh shows off, but again, he doesn't show it.

"Hello Avatar," Koh says, and leans forward to smile. "I'm back. We are _all_ back."

"I'll lock you out again," Aang says.

"And die?"

Die? Aang steps back without meaning to, though his expression never changes. That's...

Zuko steps forward. "Not him, Koh," he says. "I will."

* * *

Zuko is a man, once a spirit, long ago a man.

He knows what he has to do.

He has a limited amount of time- Koh is slow to realize what is happening- so simply smiles at Azula, one last time, bows to the small group clustered behind the Avatar, and runs.

He has a knife in his hand. Uncle gave it to him.

Koh gapes at Zuko, running full speed towards the bloated centipede spirit. And then past. Koh is still half in the mortal realm, half in the spirit, and Zuko has to jump over the spirit's coils.


	19. 51 to 53

He is in the spirit realm now; spirit in a mortal shell, Earth Kingdom iron knife held in a firebender's fist.

He is the one who has always done the impossible. This will hurt- there is no avoiding that fact. But it needs to be done.

The world needs an Avatar. The world needs a compassionate Fire Sage leading the Fire Nation- he knows, without his presence, Azula can do it. She was always better than him at- everything.

Koh's coils are behind him, now. He stands beneath a tree, raises the knife high-

-And brings it to his throat.

* * *

It has been three months, and Azula isn't sure the pain will ever stop. It isn't that she has lost her brother. She never knew him well enough to care if he was there or not. It isn't that she discovered how little her father valued her. She had slowly come to that realization already over the years.

Aang smiles at her, and lowers the Fire Crown into her top knot, Ty Lee, Mai, Katara, Toph, Sokka, the expanded core of 'Team Avatar' standing around her.

She has what she wanted- Fire Lord.

And she has never felt so alone.

* * *

"When did you know you were going to die?"

"Azula. Does it matter?"

"...No. Were you ever really my brother?"

The spirit stands, blue mask firmly in place. "I died for you," he says, and leaves her to her dreams.

He kneels in front of Agni, throat tight, remembering all that has come before. Aizu, his sister Karin, the torture- he shudders- the millennia as the Blue Spirit, Zuko, his sister Azula...

"I'm ready," he says. Agni smiles, rests one hand on his head.

"Step into the fire."

It is white. The spirit steps forward, and burns to be reborn.

* * *

_And it's over. I hope you drop me a line, let me know what you thought of this._

_And if you enjoyed this, I am planning another Avatar story for sometime in the future, probably around fall/beginning of winter. Azula centric, and yes, spirits will be involved. Especially the Blue Spirit._


End file.
